The MIL and my tolerance levels

I will preface this will the following;  I get along very well with my MIL and I love her dearly. She does enormous amounts of things for us, much more than what my mum is prepared to do. (another post another day)

When it comes to son, Finn, she is ALL over him ALL of the time. Of course they adore each other. I prefer to not be around as her baby talk drives me mad!

What is more annoying is my pitiful attempts to put my foot down and enforce the ground rules for caring for my son. Lets face it my friends and work colleagues would describe me as a savvy woman who knows what I want and is not backwards in coming forwards. I am no stranger to the comment, ‘Tell us what you really think, Disy?’ (Note to self – learn to be more discreet.)

But around my MIL I just hold my tongue. I dont want to upset things, its not a big deal. Is it? I don’t want to think about what she gives him to eat when I am not around, the nappies indicate enough!  Even my SIL was surprised about the chocolate trying at an early age when she dobbed Nana in to me. She had to put a blanket over sleeping bag because he couldn’t possibly be warm enough (hmmm slight SIDS risk.) What do I do? NOTHING. Yes that’s right Disy, the straight shooter, did nothing. WHY?

It just didn’t seem worth it. You see raising babies was Nana’s greatest achievement in her life.  She nurtured her own and every other baby in her street.  Now she will go and see any newborn she remotely knows, armed with a present so she can have a cuddle and cluck.

What pisses me off the most is the outright lack of respect Nanas’ show to the newer guidelines. I would quietly whisper ‘They like us to do these days’ in a consultative manner.  ‘Oh rubbish!’  is often the reply. So when Finn is still having bottles after 12 months I mention how we were advised by the Maternal Health Nurse to focus on getting rid of them. ”Why?’she exclaims. ”It can affect their speech development and be harmful to their teeth,’ I say, quietly trialing off.. “Oh rubbish, ‘ she says,  ‘No child ever goes to SCHOOL with a bottle!”

Fucking great I think. You and I both know that is an unintelligible argument, but I go quiet and dig my nails into my thigh. I go along with it.  There is no spot for this sort of conflict in my life.  As such both the mother-in-law and motherhood have had a great contribution to my increased tolerance levels.

I have eradictated the bottle (Finn is 2 next week) and we need to work on getting rid of the bloody dummy. I wont be engaging my MIL for support on this one.

The moral of the story is Mumma always knows best, except when Nana is around.

Please join in and unleash on your MIL or provide any dummy eradication tips by commenting. xxx

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4 Responses to The MIL and my tolerance levels

  1. kaykay says:

    First of all, I have a great MIL too, and I also struggle to tell her what I think when I think that she’s not so great in what she does with my boy, or with HER boy for that matter. So as I like things to be good, I say nothing at all. Tornado is almost 5, he loves staying over at their place, it gives me a break, so I don’t ask too many questions. And yeh, she raised 2 boys herself. back then..!
    for the dummy, my son had it for a long time, we had to travel overseas and it was stressful at times, i let him have it attached around his neck. but i always took it away at night from the beginning on, once he was asleep. then I started “keeping” it for him, when he did not use it. he would begin to forget about it for longer periods of time and in the end, just did not need it any more. i heard many different approaches, but this worked for us.
    this said, i STILL often use my avent bottles with leak-free toddler tips simply because i can’t be bothered to clean up all those spilled cups and glasses. oh well, he’s not gonna take them to SCHOOL after all. (i hope)

    • disydoit says:

      Thanks for your comment. Seems we have a similar approach of not asking too many questions! Thanks for your dummy tips. He definitely is less reliant on it and has less access to it but sometimes I don’t know who is more reliant on it – us or him!

  2. Fantastic blog! I actually love how it is easy on my eyes as well as the information are well written. I am wondering how I can be notified whenever a new post has been made. I have subscribed to your rss feed which should do the trick! Have a nice day!

    • disydoit says:

      Thanks Dorla – my blog is very new. I hate the layout – glad you like it and found it easy to read. Thanks for subscribing I am inspiried now to make more updates. Let me know if your on twitter as well. Thanks disy

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